Meetings

On Thurs 21st June I will have a meeting that is three hours long running from 11.00 to 15.05 with a stop for lunch. It is to co-ordinate with a colleague over the new work we are implementing. The comedy aspect is that my colleague can't attend and rather than the meeting being cancelled it has appeared on the meeting schedule with just me attending. Great a three hour meeting with myself. This situation becomes more humourous when the union rules on meetings are applied.

1. All meetings must have an agenda.
2 If you don't get an agenda then you don't have to attend as you cannot be expected to participate fully

so if I issue myself with an agenda I have to attend but if I don't send myself an agenda I could get into trouble for not sending an agenda, to myself. Can I participate fully in a meeting with myself without having seen an agenda prior to the meeting?

3. All meetings should be minuted
4. The minutes of the meeting should not be taken by the person chairing the meeting.

So do I chair the meeting or take the minutes? If nothing is said out loud then can any minutes be taken? How do I know when the meeting started or indeed finished? Do I record my internal monologue? If I write down my internal monologue is it still internal? Should I thank myself for providing refreshments for me?

So I did what every teacher does in this situation and consulted the union to find the rules for this situation. They wisely suggested I sent my apologies for not attending the meeting to myself!