Friday, 2 October 2009

What Zen does not teach you

Do not walk behind me as I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me for I may not t follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just piss off and leave me alone.

No one is listening until you fart

Always remember you are unique as so is everyone else

Never test the depth of water with both feet

If you think no-one cares if you are alive or dead then watch what happens when you stop paying the mortgage

Before you criticize ssomeone you should walk a mile in their shoess so that way when you do criticze you are a mile away and have their shoes

If at first you don;t succeed avoid skydiving

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will waste everyday sitting next to the canal.

If you lend someone £20 and never see them again its probably a fair trade

If you always tell the truth you bever have to remember anything

Some days you are the fly others the windscreen

A closed mouth gathers no foot

There are two excellent theoires for arguing with women but neither work

Generally if you lips are moving you aren't learning

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it

We are born naked wet and hungry, get a slap on the arse and its all downhill from there.

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